Flintstone Vitamins

I ate a flintstone vitamin today. Correction: I ate a "jungle creatures" vitamin, a monkey to be exact, the knockoff Target version of flintstones. But hey, it all tastes the same. Point is, those things are fucking TASTY. I felt like I was being reintroduced to a bad drug. You see, something you may not have known about me, I used to be a flintstone junky. That chalky, tangy, deliciousness...ooo I would tear that shit UP. I always thought it was bullshit that you were only allowed one a day, especially for a kid like me. I've never been one for sweets so when someone offered me candy, a cookie, I'd generally refuse. Halloween, Easter, Christmas, Valentine's Day, these kids with their god forsaken sweet tooths would be showered with candy and baked goods and I would be left with my one god damned flintstone vitamin. One day, I decided I wasn't going to put up with the bullshit anymore and I started sneaking more vitamins. It began slowly with a little nibble off of Wilma's hair, then the head, then down to the waist...before I knew it I was eating two whole vitamins a day. My mom finally caught on when she realized how quickly we were moving through the bottle. "Kayla, have you been eating an extra vitamin?"...Damn, the jig is up..."Nooooo?"..."Kayla, tell me truth"...Ah fuck, there goes bliss..."Yeah mom, I've been eating two vitamins.".... "(gasp!) Kayla! You can't do that! It's not healthy for you. You're going to overdose and make yourself really sick"....Well shit, sure took you long enough to notice, I've been doing it for like two months...dumbass. She decided to take initiative and hide the vitamins. What. A. Bitch. It's not as if I didn't know where she hid them, but they were up really high and the structural instability of our kitchen chairs at the time made me too nervous to climb up and get them. I mean, I didn't want to fall and get a boo-boo. I eventually found an alternative, kind of like smokers who chew nicotine gum. One day I discovered that if you sucked on sharks fruit snacks long enough, they tasted JUST like flintstone vitamins. The great thing about the sharks was that there were like 12 in a pack which meant at least 6 times the fun everyday! However, soon, the excess took away the appeal and I was able to slowly ween myself from the vitamins and the sharks. I've been clean for nearly 15 years...until today.